What is beauty really all about? I've had this topic on my mind for a while. Given that I have four daughters the subject is somewhat of a minefield on some days. Whether it's on a show they are watching, in social media, about a friend, or worst of all... in reference to themselves. We all have bad days, and watching them have bad days is like torture to me. I want to make every growing pain go away. I know I can't and I know trial builds character, still it is horrible to watch when they are down on themselves.
I believe the subject of beauty is among the most difficult, because it is completely subjective. Some think the mountain ranges are the most beautiful part of nature and some think it's the sandy beaches bordering a sapphire ocean. It's no surprise that with people coming in all shapes and sizes our appearances are up for debate, scrutiny, approval, and comparison.
As an adult I am completely fine with this, but as a mother I want to empower my girls and teach them to question everything they are taught, read, and see. I constantly tell them to never compare themselves to anyone because it's impossible. To envy someone is such a waste of time and energy. If you want to be that person you will have to take the whole enchilada. You can't have another's face and body without having the parents they inherited it from, and the problems in that family, and the siblings they have, and so on. This simple lesson has cured many cases of envy in my house....not all, but many.
Still, the issue of beauty is ever present in our lives. It has been worshiped since the beginning of time in it's various forms and will be until the end of time. The standards will change but it will always be relevant.
This brings me to a few opinions I have about it, and how we as mothers and women can help each other. When I look around at the fact that we all come in many shapes and sizes, it is also clear that those many shapes and sizes are considered beautiful. I know we see a sliver of the population on social media and TV, but in reality, not everyone thinks everyone else is beautiful. Some men would happily pass up a Victoria's Secret model for another man...point made!
If this is the case, why do we believe the hype we read and hear? Shouldn't we instead be listening to the inner voice we all have, that is more often right than wrong?
Here are a my top 5 rules I use for helping my girls feel beautiful.
1. Don't criticize other women.... especially in front of your daughter.
I see women do this all the time to make themselves feel better, but in reality this only teaches their girls that they need to tear someone down to feel good about themselves. It becomes a beast that is never satisfied. I say starve the beast until it dies before it inhabits your daughters and takes over.
2. It is OK to compliment a girl for their outer beauty.
Period. Why not? A compliment is an opinion, and an opinion is subjective. Beauty is individual and should be celebrated. Plus, you just might make someone's day. Not to mention, they may really need to hear something at that moment... you never know what others are going through.
Period. Why not? A compliment is an opinion, and an opinion is subjective. Beauty is individual and should be celebrated. Plus, you just might make someone's day. Not to mention, they may really need to hear something at that moment... you never know what others are going through.
3. Helping others feel good makes you more beautiful in everyway to everyone.
Compliments never get old. I love to see someone light up when I compliment them, and it makes me feel beautiful inside.
Compliments never get old. I love to see someone light up when I compliment them, and it makes me feel beautiful inside.
4. Self-confidence makes you beautiful.
Feeling good about who you are and what you can do to help and improve something makes you shine from the inside out. Nothing is more attractive than a person with self-confidence... nothing.
Feeling good about who you are and what you can do to help and improve something makes you shine from the inside out. Nothing is more attractive than a person with self-confidence... nothing.
5. This is my cardinal rule... drum roll please... DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF TO ANYONE...EVER!
I am adamant about this. Comparisons are worthless and only make you feel bad...that's it, they have no other purpose.
We need to be examples for our daughters and embrace ourselves, flaws and all. I am constantly making my flaws a source of humor. I also tackle the flaws I can change, I rarely sit back and do nothing if I am unhappy with myself about something....the last thing I want to do is to teach them to complain about something and do nothing about it. Poke fun or get on your horse and ride I say!
We were all given our face and body in this life for a reason. We are all different for a purpose. We need to celebrate all of it in every shape, color, and form! There is beauty in EVERTHING! xoxoxo
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